From: Timothy Newsham 
  To: 0xdeadbeef@substance.blackdown.org
Date: Fri, 14 Jul 1995 20:41:52 -1000 (HST)

an example of what can be found at wall-o-shame:

http://www.milk.com:80/wall-o-shame/

Lucky Dog

October, 1993--Europa Times

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``We will not have him put down. Lucky is basically a damn good guide dog,''
Ernst Gerber, a dog trainer from Wuppertal told reporters. ``He just needs a
little brush-up on some elementary skills, that's all.''

Gerber admitted to the press conference that Lucky, a German shepherd
guide-dog for the blind, had so far been responsible for the deaths of all
four of his previous owners. ``I admit it's not an impressive record on
paper. He led his first owner in front of a bus, and the second off the end
of a pier. He actually pushed his third owner off a railway platform just as
the Cologne to Frankfurt express was approaching and he walked his fourth
owner into heavy traffic, before abandoning him and running away to safety.
But, apart from epileptic fits, he has a lovely temperament. And guide dogs
are difficult to train these days.''

Asked if Lucky's fifth owner would be told about his previous record, Gerber
replied: ``No. It would make them nervous, and would make Lucky nervous. And
when Lucky gets nervous he's liable to do something silly.''







Pumping

Japan Times--August 15, 1993

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``The government must crack down on this disgusting craze of `Pumping','' a
spokesman for the Nakhon Ratchasima hospital told reporters. ``If this
perversion catches on, it will destroy the cream of Thailand's manhood.''

He was speaking after the remains of 13 year-old Charnchai Puanmuangpak had
been brought into the hospital's emergency department. ``Most Pumpers use a
standard bicycle pump,'' he explained, ``sticking the nozzzle up their
rectum and giving themselves a rush of air. Not only is that a sin against
God, but it can be dangerous even for onlookers. Charnchai took it further
still. He started using a two-cylinder foot pump, but even that wasn't
exciting enough for him, and he boasted to friends that he was going to try
the compressed air hose at a nearby gasoline station. They dared him to do
it so, under cover of darkness, he sneaked in. Not realising how powerful
the machine was, he inserted the tube into his body, and placed a 1 baht
coin in the slot. Of course, he died instantly, but passers by are still in
shock. One woman though she was watching a twilight firework display and
started clapping. We still haven't located all of him.

``Pumping is the devil's pastime, and we must all say no to satan,'' he
concluded. ``Inflate your tyres by all means, but then hide your bicycle
pump where it cannot tempt you.''