From: gkm@petting-zoo.net (glen mccready) To: 0xdeadbeef@petting-zoo.net Date: Fri, 24 Oct 2003 14:07:55 -0700
Forwarded-by: nev@bostic.com Forwarded-by: Chris Caputo <ccaputo@alt.net> =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Date: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 22:39:47 -0700 (PDT) From: RDB <rdb@blarg.net> Subject: I'm poly Hi, I'm poly. OK. Having said that, and thereby having initially established the relevance of this message to this list, I'd like to do another poly thing: communicate. Specifically, I watched the film "Matrix Reloaded" this evening and wanted to share the following thoughts and feelings (sharing your feelings being another poly thing to do) which came up for me while watching it: * If the sentinels succeed in drilling down to Zion and killing all the humans, will they call their victory dance a "Circuit Party"? * It would have been interesting if while Neo was touring Zion he heard a mysterious explosion, which Morpheus explained by saying, "Pay it no mind, Neo: Zion experiences periodic unrest with a neighboring human colony called 'Palestine'." * In the montage of Morpheus' dance party in Zion, it would have been funny if they interspersed a scene of one reveler selling another some X. * In Morpheus' inspirational speech to Zion, it would have been funny if he concluded it by bellowing: "The machines are coming: and where our perimeter defenses will fail, our program of economic sanctions and weapons inspections shall succeed!" * The matrix as a whole runs way too smoothly for it to be hosted on Windows. My guess is that the matrix is hosted on Red Hat Linux or something. As such I wish they'd tossed more UNIX humor into the movie. Here's an example: throw in a scene of the Nebuchadnezzar crew eating dinner, and on everyone's plate is a big pile of corn on the cob. Morpheus stands up, adjusts his belt, and says, "Well men, I'm gonna go 'reboot the kernel', if you know what I mean..." * During the freeway chase scene, it would have been funny if they froze the action for an out-of-the-blue voiceover from the narrator from Dukes of Hazard: "Well, it looks like our boys are in a southern heap o' trouble, and Boss Hog's lookin' to catch that there Keymaster..." * Rather than a white dome-shaped room with a bunch of televisions, it would have been funny if the Architect lived in Frank Lloyd Wright's "Falling Water." * After the scene with the Architect, it would have been funny if they inserted a scene of Neo smilingly putting a bumper sticker on the Nebuchadnezzar that says, "I'm pro-choice." * I wish they had shown more scenes of Zion citizens wearing "I believe in the One and I vote" t-shirts. * It would have been funny if the recurring anomaly in the matrix wasn't the conundrum of free will, or even the emergence of the One, but rather matrix-wide addiction to Everquest. * Here's one line I wish they'd found a way to script to Morpheus: "Commanders, as I'm sure you're all aware, we're indoors, it's dark, and we're all wearing sunglasses." * Here's another line I wish they'd found a way to slip into the film: "Agent Smith, are you aware that your behavior is in direct violation of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act?" * In the Architect's little white dome, it would have been funny if next to his chair they'd placed a big cardboard box FULL of 3.5" floppy disks labeled "Matrix Full Backup". * At the brainstorming session where our military came up with Dark Storm, was the idea introduced with, "You know, maybe I'm just blue-skying here, but..." * They should have had a scene with a television on somewhere in the background of the shot, showing a car commercial. After the car drives by, you see the advertising slogan "You Deserve the Ultimate Turing Machine." * In Neo's meeting with the Architect, rather than the Architect promising the timely destruction of Zion (via burrowing down to it from the surface through rock) by saying, "We have done this six times and have become exceedingly efficient at it," he should have said, "Trust us - we know the drill." Russell